We come by our writing honestly. Dad was always writing silly stories for our amusement. I just recently ran across a collection of his stories, including this doozy:
by Monte Cady
Arfgon Quincequil (730 – 687 BC) was a locally prominent medicine man in the region of the North American continent now known as Arizona.
Arfgon could cast spells, break jinxes, and disrupt the weather in truly mystic and marvelous ways. He also was famous for his suggestions that led to improving the lot of his people. For example, he suggested clay shoes (called potto footoes) for the members of his tribe who had trouble walking on hot sand.
As his tribe members travelled, it was noticed by others that when the potto footoes were left out over night and it rained, they were full of water in the morning. Soon, anyone in the tribe could trade a potto footo to a neighboring tribe for three one-legged chickens or the front half of a goat.
As the secret to making them became known, many shapes and sizes developed, but none were as distinctive as a true potto footo.
But, I digress. Arfgon will long be remembered for his most brilliant achievement – that of ridding Arizona of slugs.
One day while running to answer an emergency call to stop a horse herd stampede, Arfgon stepped on an 11-inch slug, and in his attempt to retain his balance, threw his left hip out of joint. The horses got away, but not the slug.
Arfgon limped back to his cave and ground up 1/3 of an egret feather. Casting it to the 8 major directions, Arfgon turned all the slugs into stones. The vultures, who had lived on slugs up until now, became frantic when their source of food disappeared, and they went bald with worry. Fortunately, the vultures found other sources of food, but the constant worry about their next meal keeps them bald.
Now, every year as one of the items in the Phoenix Pioneer Days Scavenger Hunt is to bring back the date on which Arfgon Quincequil rid Arizona of slugs. Do you know when it was?