Vomit free – except for that one time

I’ve been texting #7 all day, and she’s been talking about her puking son.  I’m so happy I didn’t have to deal with that.

Except for that one time.


There are some advantages to importing your children at an older age.  One of my favorite is that I didn’t have to deal with bodily functions very much.  Tony was 2 when he first came into our home, and he potty trained pretty quickly after.  I probably had about 3 months of diapers total.  There was no spit-up, no exploding diarrhea that crawled up the back.  Only Tony didn’t have a strong grasp of blowing his nose.  I got it pretty good.

Except for that one time.



We had a three-bedroom with an office that out worked out of.  My desk was just the perfect size for a toddler mattress to slip under, so Tony would sleep under there rather than the boys sharing a room.


The office had a door that went to the outside, and when it was warm, I would open it and listen to our chickens cluck about outside, and the cats would wander in and out to visit me.  My office was lovely.


Except for that one time.



We had just recently learned that no matter what time you put children to bed, they will wake up at the exact same time (usually around 5am – yuck).  It was fall, and I had already gotten the two olders off to school, and Scott had already headed to work.  Usually Tony is up and at ’em bright and early, but I hadn’t heard a peep from him yet.


I went to my office opened the door, immediately getting smacked in the face.  Not by Tony, but by the scent.  What was that horrific odor living in my office? I flipped on the switch and my eyes were immediately offended.  Not by the light, but by the sight.

Tony was laying face up, arms and legs splayed, in the middle of my office looking like a hungover drunk toddler.  He was covered head-to-toe in chunky vomit, and I was lucky I could see him breathing, ’cause I didn’t want to touch that thing.

A puddle had formed in the sheets of the toddler bed, and there were streaks all over the wall under my desk reminding me of blood splatter at a horrific crime scene. It was spew splatter.

That kid wasn’t gonna be moving any time soon.  I just shut my door, went to my huge soaker tub and started filling it up. Tony could just go into it clothes and all.

It took me a week to get that smell fully out of the office.  Looking back, I am fully aware of how lucky I was to not have to deal with many childhood bodily functions. They say God only gives you what you can handle.  He knows me so well!

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