13 Ways I Procrastinated Writing This Blog

Task to be accomplished:  Write a blog to be posted on Friday.  My assignment has been clearly identified and begun in within a timeframe that will provide me with no excuse impeding my success.  Let the writing procrastinating begin.

Procrastination #1:  Hey!  I found a TV show that is not horribly inappropriate that I haven’t seen before that my husband didn’t scoff at!  I’d better watch an episode (or 3) of that.  My two bits:  When did Kiefer Sutherland get so old and presidential looking.  And I’m not sure about that First Wife.  She was a strong character in the Truman Show, but she seems oblivious and tepid in this show.  Is that the character she’s playing’s personality, or is that just her?  And wouldn’t it be cool if this was a spinoff of 24 and Jack Bauer was now president?  I’m sure I’m not the first person who has ever thought of this.

Procrastination #2:  Or is this 1A:  IMDB-ing “Designated Survivor” then “Truman Show” then “24.”  I’ve heard 24 is good.  I should watch it.  Is it on Netflix?  Let’s check… oh… that looks good.  Wait!  I’m supposed to be blogging!
Daisy would prefer if we sliced
ourselves open and she could live inside us at all times.

Procrastination #3:  Letting the Roscoe and Daisy out… and in… and out… and in… forget it.  I’m just leaving the slider open.

Procrastination #4:  Stalking and staring at the skeeter-eater that came in through the slider.  I know they say they kill the actually pernicious mosquitos, but he’s so huge!  Are they really just male mosquitos stepping up to the plate for oppressed male praying mantises by eating the smaller female mosquitos?  Step away from Google.
Procrastination #5:  Cuddle with Daisy.  There was a big thunderstorm today, and she is a gentle creature prone to clinging and suffocating.  Suffocating me, not herself.  She breathes just fine.

Procrastination #6:  Eating a handful of chocolate chips.  They’re so small.  They’re low-fat and practically calorie free, right?  I mean, I could be melting them and mixing them with peanut butter for some gooey choco-peanut butter goodness, but Scott made fun of me for that today, and I shouldn’t make that…  Screw him!  I’m not going to let him control me!  That’s it!  I’m gonna make some of it just to spite him.  That’ll show him.  Wait… not, it’s 11:11 p.m.  That’s not a reasonable time to be eating anything.  Plus, that will show nobody but the chocolate and peanut butter who is boss (at which point they obviously would be).
Procrastination #7:  Brush my teeth.  If my teeth are brushed, I won’t eat anything else, right?  Get it together, tummy.  The mouth is shut down for the night.

Procrastination #8:  Chat with Susan about my writer’s block and get lost in meme searching.  This is kind of like researching for my blog, which is almost as good as writing it, right?

Procrastination #9:  Other general hygiene:  I’m 36!  Shouldn’t my skin be done with the pimples already???  And when did my toenails become talons?  Thank goodness I don’t have Mom’s feet yet.  Those were terrifying.
Procrastination #11:  Get lost in Amazon, repricing, studying trends, planning the next order, and stalking competitors.  I wish I was actually in the Amazon.  I bet it’s warm there.  But their bugs are probably worse than skeeter eaters.  I guess I’m fine here.
Procrastination #12:  Pay Bills.  Good thing, too!  I apparently hadn’t paid the water bill in a bit.  Thank goodness for having to blog, or this bill would never have gotten paid and the kids would’ve been distressed at the lack of water. And electricity too. Oops!  Good thing those don’t go on the credit score!  While I’m at it, I’d better go through these other official-looking envelopes.  Why the heck have I been getting AARP junk mail since the week after I turned 30?  That’s a pretty neat free Day Bag I’d get for subscribing though.  And why do people also seem to think that it is appropriate to advertise cremation services and tombstone options to me?  While we’re asking questions, what’s the deal with companies sending plastic mail rather than paper mail now?  They must be in it for the long haul, trying to lure future customers, because all I’m doing is giving the plastic to my kids to use as pretend credit cards.  That’s right… I encourage consumer debt in my home.  In other bill news:  We’re eligible for a cell phone upgrade and I could pretend that I don’t need to update my AAA membership, but who would I be kidding?  I lock my keys in the car at least twice a year, and that bad boy pays for itself.  The last time the car was running and we nearly missed my niece’s wedding!  Quite the adventure, right, Peggy??
Procrastination #13:  Listen to Scott’s book that he’s listening to while falling asleep.  He’s listening to Jane Austen!  I love Jane Austen!  Persuasion is my favorite.  I’m watching Persuasion tomorrow.  Not tonight.  Tonight I’m blogging.
Ok, it’s nearly midnight, and I’m almost to my deadline.  Time to buckle down and get this thing written!
It is a good thing that we’re supposed to blog about our lives, because tonight my theme was obviously procrastination.
*This post was previously published 05/05/17 at: http://crazycadysisters.blogspot.com/2017/05/master-procrastinator.html

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